oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
