I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize