her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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