im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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