LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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