My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
