but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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