Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize