Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
