I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
