We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
