the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
