The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
