There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
