i was born a porn star she said
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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