So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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