There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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