dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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