I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he puts the penis in happiness.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
