And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
