Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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