So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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