why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
