What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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