why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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