I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
