if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
