If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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