Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
