i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
