nut hugger
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
