hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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