Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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