dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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