What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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