do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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