Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
