Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
