thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
