Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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