so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
