My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize