we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
