why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
