I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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