I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
