chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You left your phone here
Wait...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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