I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
