I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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