Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
