he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
