did you get engaged???
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize