Non-Jews are for practice
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
How naked do you want me to be?
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