Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
