ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize