I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
