escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
