**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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