Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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