remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
