hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need water and some morals
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize