I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
