My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
