I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize