I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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