i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
