I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
