Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The power of my boobs compel you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
