good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
